Little Alice was told by her grandma early in her life that she was going to live a long life if she obeyed and listened to grandma! Grandma told Alice that in order to live a long life she needed to take 1/2 teaspoon of gun powder mixed with 8 ounces of water everyday for the rest of her life! Grandma finally passed away but she was 117 years old! Grandma never did anyone any harm while she lived on earth however when they ran her through the crematory she left a 500 foot deep crater where the crematory used to be! Never mess with grandma! Pastor Oscar Cope, Mount Vernon Baptist Church, Fairburn, Georgia.
Tag: grandma
Grandma gets Challenged!
Grandma had a daughter who gave birth to a cute little granddaughter! Little Mary loved grandma very much! Mom brought her over to grandma’s to spend the night. Mom told little Mary she had to be in bed by 8:00 PM. Grandma announced to Mary it was now time to go to bed! Little Mary said no grandma! I do not have to go to bed now! Grandma said why not you know what your mother said! Little Mary said remember you are her mommy! Pastor Oscar Cope, Mount Vernon Baptist Church, Fairburn, Georgia.
Old Charley!
It was the summer of 1958. I remember because my parents bought a brand new Ford Fairlane 500! We thought we were in Heaven! We lived on a farm in Nebraska and as kids did not know we were on the bottom end of the food chain! Me and little brother Tommy were out harassing the little birds with our BB guns in the grove behind the house! Mom shouts out the door of our house and tells us grandma wants us to come over and help her butcher roosters! We were excited! Mom takes us over to grandma in our new car! Grandma would pick out a young fat rooster from the flock and then tell us to catch it! The race was on! We had help from my cousin Bill who was two years older than me. Once we caught the rooster grandma brought out the hatchet! It was Jihad on the rooster! We would get tired because we would do about 25 roosters per day! I asked grandma if we could catch old charley because he was really a slow bird! Grandma told me he was too old to eat! Why grandma? Well Jimmy old charley is like a Christmas tree without the lights! He is totally unplugged! Every time the fox breaks into the chicken house charley gets a free pass! Charley struts around trying to look and act like a rooster but the hens don’t pay him no mind! Charley can’t even crow anymore even if he tries! Grandma poor charley! Grandma charley needs a friend! I can be his friend grandma! Yes and bring all his lice into the house? Well i guess charley does need a friend! Why don’t you be his friend! Thankyou grandma! James
Grandpa and Grandma get a Son! Genesis 18
They say that if your two year old son raises his hands up to his father and says grandpa you know you have a miracle! Abraham has three men show up at his tent door in the heat of the day! Normally people do not travel in the heat of the day? These men were not normal and represent a theophany or God appearing to men Could these three men represent the Trinity? Jesus Christ is the personal manifestation of God to man! Abraham recognizes that these were not just men but God Himself standing before him! Abraham entreats them well offering the best he had with provision and water. When they announce to Abraham that he will have a son his wife Sarah laughs! Their son that was eventually born to them was named Isaac which means laughter. God also promises to Abraham and his descendants that they will be a great nation and all the earth will be Blessed through them! Later in history the birth of Christ and the nation of Israel would confirm these promises! The second mission of these three men was to destroy the gay’s living in Sodom and Gomorrah! Abraham tried to convince God to spare them because his nephew Lot and immediate family was living among them! Lot was a lousy evangelist even among his own family! God spared them but destroyed the rest of them! God could not find ten righteous in the city! God is faithful to Bless the righteous and destroy the wicked! So how does one move from the camp of the wicked to the camp of the righteous? There must be a change in behavior! Repent of your sin to Christ and let Him give you the strength to live a new life! You must be “Born Again!” Thankyou. James and Hamsa Sasse. GodWhoisGod.com
Put it in Writing!
Grandpa and Grandma were getting up in age and were forgetting alot of things! Their doctor told them to write everything down so they would not forget. They were both seated on the sofa when Grandma asked Grandpa to get her some ice cream and strawberry’s from the kitchen. Grandpa got up off the sofa to get these but Grandma asked Grandpa to first write it down! Grandpa said no because the kitchen was located in the next room. In a few minutes Grandpa came back and handed Grandma two fried eggs and two slices of bacon! Grandma got mad and told Grandpa he forgot the toast! Source; Pastor Joel Olsteen.