It was the summer of 1958. I remember because my parents bought a brand new Ford Fairlane 500! We thought we were in Heaven! We lived on a farm in Nebraska and as kids did not know we were on the bottom end of the food chain! Me and little brother Tommy were out harassing the little birds with our BB guns in the grove behind the house! Mom shouts out the door of our house and tells us grandma wants us to come over and help her butcher roosters! We were excited! Mom takes us over to grandma in our new car! Grandma would pick out a young fat rooster from the flock and then tell us to catch it! The race was on! We had help from my cousin Bill who was two years older than me. Once we caught the rooster grandma brought out the hatchet! It was Jihad on the rooster! We would get tired because we would do about 25 roosters per day! I asked grandma if we could catch old charley because he was really a slow bird! Grandma told me he was too old to eat! Why grandma? Well Jimmy old charley is like a Christmas tree without the lights! He is totally unplugged! Every time the fox breaks into the chicken house charley gets a free pass! Charley struts around trying to look and act like a rooster but the hens don’t pay him no mind! Charley can’t even crow anymore even if he tries! Grandma poor charley! Grandma charley needs a friend! I can be his friend grandma! Yes and bring all his lice into the house? Well i guess charley does need a friend! Why don’t you be his friend! Thankyou grandma! James
Tag: rooster
Foghorn Helps Chick With Homework!
Let me show you how to do it son! Do not bother me with logarithms, common and natural, base epsilon and factorial progressions! Son, you complicate life for me and your mother! Keep it simple son! All you need to learn about math is to count eggs. Someone must have dropped you as an egg on the cement and you hatched too early! Why can’t you be a normal rooster like your brother? Son, I do not care about the distance between the planets, their speed and rotation! The only thing you need to watch above your head is the chicken hawks! I’m worried about you boy! Kentucky Fried Chicken could be in your future! I don’t care about the volumes of the ocean’s? Once you are inside a can of chicken broth you can figure the volume of the can! Why can’t you be a normal child? You trouble my mind son! You are an embarrassment to the family tree! How are we going to find you a hen? The whole community out here in the chicken yard thinks your brains got scrambled! Why did I say that? Can we ever find a place for you in life? I don’t care about one horse passing another twice on a one mile track in 3:29 minutes and then finding out how fast the first horse was going? Something is wrong with your head boy! You give me a headache and I need some rest! You give me brain cramps son! Why I am gone to get some rest please do not think about anything while I am gone! Leghorn Foghorn