Dear ALLAH!

Dear Allah, Hope this prayer finds you well? My seventy virgins are over one hundred years old now! They depress me! Unless you give me some younger ones I will do Jihad to get a new bunch in! Please stop Trump from being re-elected! He is killing us! Obama and Biden gave us plane loads of cash delivered into the late night for us as free gifts from their tax payers! We had so much money to do terrorism around the world but now under Trump we are starving to death! Please get rid of Trump so we can get boat loads of cash from Biden again! Money from Americans we can use to kill Americans! They fund their own funerals! We long for the good old days! We need stupid politicians back to Washington! If only enough stupid Americans will vote for Biden? Allah please listen to my prayers or else! Iatolla Komani