Bethlehem Times Report!

Last night it was reported that some shepherds in the hills above Bethlehem got blind sided by an unusual event! It was like they got hit by the back side of a Roman sword! Bang! Boom! Bong! Someone rang their bell! The shepherds claimed they were just spending another boring night tending to their sheep in the hills just above Bethlehem! They were guarding their smelly sheep from the wolves who wanted a free lunch! They built a fire to keep warm and protect their sheep! The sheep were just about asleep when the light show started! The shepherd’s thought they led an insignificant life until last night! One shepherd reported that he was thinking about years back when his grandma told him to go to school or you will end up a nobody! Now last night he was thankful to be on the lower end of the food chain! Meanwhile about 90 miles away a young couple had started their journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth by donkey’s! The couple’s names were Joseph and Mary. They had to come to Bethlehem because that scum bum Caesar ordered everyone to return to their home towns to pay more taxes! Since Joseph was of the House of David he had to come back to Bethlehem! The Motel’s were overcrowded since the Decree by Caesar! Caesar needed more money for his military expansion! During their 5-8 mile per day journey his wife Mary pondered many things in her heart! Things like I am pregnant yet a virgin! Try to explain that to your family? Then she thought of the Angel Gabriel appearing and explaining the whole event! Then the Holy Spirit dwelling over her! Then her husband Joseph telling her he was going to divorce her and put her away! Then the Angel speaking to Joseph in a dream and explain the whole purpose of her pregnancy! Instructing him to take Mary as his wife! Joseph was worried about Mary for every bump of the donkey ride meant the child may be born early! Where would they stay in Bethlehem? They had little money! Mean while back at the ranch in the hills of Bethlehem the light show was about to start! Night turned into day! The heat from the lights turned the cool 32 degree night temperature up to 80 degree’s! They began to sweat in the sheep skin jackets! Residents of Bethlehem reported seeing UFO’s! The sheep were getting anxious! Then Bam! The choir of Angels! It was a Northern lights show with sound! It was a rock band that shook everything that could move! These shepherds were surrounded by the Host of Heaven! The shepherds bowels reacted to these climatic events! So did the sheep!Global warming on steroids! There was a light in the sky brighter than the sun! A million voices in the choir! Wow! Super Bowl Sunday! For the first time in their lives the shepherds had a crowd following them! Surrounded by the Glories of Heaven! Fear struck the shepherds and the sheep! The end has come! The rapture is here! Guilt began to overcome the shepherds! We should return those sheep we stole from our neighbor! Then the orchestra and choir in Heaven stopped the music! An Angel told the shepherds this night a Savior is born to you in the city of Bethlehem! Go worship him! Wow again! We need to sell some of these sheep to present gifts to this new King! Then the lights dimmed and a star was hanging over Bethlehem! A new star never seen before! The choir is gone and the cold night returns to those hills above Bethlehem! Judah did you see that! Benjamin did you see that! Did you put something in my food? What have we been drinking? Who will believe our story? Caesar might lock us up! Boy’s we got to get down to that manger and see what this is all about! Round up the sheep let us worship this Savior promised to the world by our great prophets! Merry Christmas guy’s! James and Hamsa Sasse. GodWhoisGod.com