Before I closed my eyes in sleep last night I thought about my life for the past 71 years? I was not a president, governor, senator or congressman! Just a nobody going nowhere fast! Then I had a positive thought! I could be a somebody in my dreams! So I closed my eyes and I woke up at the Indianapolis 500 Speedway with a front row seat in the grandstands! Wow! This is great! Well but still a spectator? Then there was an announcement over the public address speakers that someone in the audience has won the grand prize! Please check you tickets and look if you have ticket number 7654321? The guy next to me said well I did not win! How about you? Let me put my glasses on and look at my ticket! Sure enough I was the winner! Then the announcer asked the winner to please come down to the podium! I thought well this is still a long ways for me to walk! So I started my journey when the guy next to me said you forgot your cane! Thankyou sir! On the way down I thought this may be a trick? My handicapped sticker on my old van expired last month and if they are giving me a ticket I will sue them! I finally got down to the podium and a big applause from the crowd! The announcer told me I was the winner of the grand prize! Which was a chance to be in this race! He handed me the key to Racer #7 and then another applause! He asked me if I had any questions? What is the speed limit I do not want to break the law! Another applause! He told me 200 MPH plus in the straightaways and 160-175 MPH in the curves! Any other questions? He told me I would be in the number one qualifier place just behind the pacer car! At the flag step on the gas and go! Sir I have one more question! What is it? Please turn the mic off! Okay what is it? When I have to pee where do I go?