Thankyou for calling! We have updated our system to be more user friendly! Please follow the prompts! Disclaimer; If you try to defend yourself with a weapon against your attacker you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law! Your Constitutional rights are void in our state! We are a sanctuary State for criminals! We are progressives! Progress for all criminals! Listen to the prompts for we make changes everyday to our 9-11 call in system for your convenience! If you have been raped please press #1, If you have been assaulted and robbed please press #2, If you have been murdered or about to be murdered have a friend call your local mortuary. Your life matters but not so much in our state! We will now send you an unarmed councilor to your residence to negotiate with your attacker for he is probably a victim of the cancel culture! You may have verbally abused him some way during the attack like calling him a son of a bitch! Please leave your message on our recorder and we will get back with you in 24-48 hours! Thankyou for your patience! The Blue State with the Blueless uniforms will bring fairness and security to your community! Do not leave multiple messages for it will further delay our follow-up to you! Have a nice day!