This is NORAD North American Aerospace Command please identify yourself! If you do not identify yourself we will shoot you down! We are broadcasting this message on all frequencies and you have 30 seconds to respond! Fire one! Fire two! This is Air force One did you just try to call us? Sorry we have a new equity hire pilot who fell asleep at the wheel and does not know much about flying! What was your message again? Hello is anyone there? What is that bright light in the sky? It looks like it is headed our way? Two bright lights heading out way? We would like to report two bright lights in the sky! We would—————